Is R-E-S-P-E-C-T an outmoded family value?

I met a man once who told a story that he and his wife chuckled at and nodded their heads with acceptance and understand, but that I found a little disturbing. I think I felt disturbed because I have been wrestling for a while now about young people showing (or not) respect towards their elders, in particular. Has our "Baby-Boomer" generation decided that demonstrating respect and consideration of family members is an old-fashioned and unnecessary value to continue teaching our children? Or is the meaning of "family" that members of a family unit can abuse each other and have that be an acceptable form of behavior?

This man said he needed to mow his lawn. He has a rider and a power-mower, but they were both missing from his garage. So, he decided to edge his lawn instead, but that was also missing. Then he thought he could weed-whack, but found that tool gone as well. Finally, out of desperation, he said he could at least blow leaves off the driveway, but the blower was also missing. So the man called his two sons and said, "My grass needs cutting, edging and weed-whacking, and the leaves need blowing. Whoever has those tools, come over and do it." His lawn got mowed, but none of the tools reappeared in his garage.

The point that struck me in this story is that neither of his sons asked to use their father's tools. They just came over and took them from the garage without saying a word. Again, this man and his wife both knowingly shook their heads as if they were saying, "Kids are just like that. Isn't it annoying?" But, I ask, "Why is this behavior acceptable?"

I remember as a child, siblings stealing from one another as an accepted behavior. I still see that behavior in some of them and their children as adults, except now it's called "borrowing". The problem is the items that are borrowed are still never returned. The owners don't ask for the items back unless they are really valuable at some level, or they want to wear that sweater again or use that necklace. And, the borrowers don't even consider returning the items. The attitude seems to be, "Finders keepers...". I don't get how this behavior is okay. What am I missing?

And, what ever happened to asking for permission? Is the attitude really, "What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine" when it comes to immediate family? Does this behavior transfer to borrowing things from close friends or even strangers? What ever happened to respecting others and their belongings?